associated in random thought

2005-05-15T14:21:00.000-07:00

i have not updated this particular blog in years now. so, if you've somehow found me here, please hop over to bananie.com.gracias.

2002-11-20T03:28:00.000-08:00

come on over here... friends, the blog has moved! we've outgrown this place, are making room for more family--redecorating, putting up new dry wall and painting. (how do you like sky blue? grey?) but our home is your home, and so please come over. bring your friends. as julie lee would sing: we got muffins and cheerios, someone to paint your toes...there'll be a child to hold, so come on over

2002-11-18T14:36:00.000-08:00

what we gots unbeknownst to me (because of the whole i'm in london thing) my shannon had a baby on saturday evening. would everyone please give a warm welcome to a tiny, 6 pound beatrice abbot quiggle! i heard her voice tonight over the phone; from erie, pa to belfast she cried, and i get to meet her in four weeks. i'm in love. i have mascara raccoon eyes after hearing shannon tell, so

2002-11-15T07:48:00.000-08:00

while waiting in london for jude to be done with work, i wrote: He has ordered a glass of red wine. Bald, hunched over with bamboo walking stick and dignified umbrella, tweed coat and nearly matching tie, he tottered in. and now he is sitting next to me, folding his money, bill by bill: Elizabeth upon Elizabeth. He clicks his tongue and mumbles incoherently to himself in a grumbly Yoda voice.

2002-11-11T11:45:00.000-08:00

this is where the days go carrie says i should write about the corner store. let me tell you about the corner store: the co-op. i frequent the co-op at odd hours; it is my own personal oh-shit store: oh shit, we're out of...milk. bread. tomato soup. yummy chocolate/caramel biscuits. goodfellas pizza-for-one. there is a security guard outside the co-op (like most businesses) in the evening

2002-11-09T17:54:00.000-08:00

november the quiet and dark of november muffles words sometimes. it's a lesson in resting in the contours of silence. but is this rest or breath-holding? because it feels like the world is in wait for the arrival of my best friend's baby. or. maybe it's me, an ocean away at 2 am, knowing that the due date has come. and nothing else matters. (it's enough to make a girl homesick.)

2002-11-07T16:58:00.000-08:00

all in the family guess what? my sister, catherine frances has started a blog! (i'm so proud!) i knew she had the words. and here they are, laid bare. go read!

2002-11-05T13:00:00.000-08:00

cats. rainbows. sweet home alabama. here are a few words about our trip (we just returned an hour ago): Atticus is about to jump out the window, I think. And Harley is in the garden, chasing a bird. She is a black and white, smallish mop of a cat, flat now as she stealthily moves across the brick walk. Unfortunately, the bird is a tease and has flown away, peeping. So, Harley has abandoned

2002-11-01T07:16:00.000-08:00

nendrum today is one of the greyest since i arrived. the rain won't stop, though it is quiet on the rooftop, and i'm glad to be inside. at 3 pm, i am still in pajamas, and i'm enjoying a nice cream of chicken soup lunch. rain and november: this is an emmylou harris' wrecking ball afternoon. i've got all the ingredients for a productive afternoon or the best nap i've ever had. nicole is

2002-11-01T03:30:00.000-08:00

blogs r us here are three new blogs which you should be bookmarking and reading daily (or at least checking in daily, thus inspiring near-daily updates...): random acts of senseless beauty. this is a great, witty, down-with-all-things-cool blog by my dear friend, jude. already kindled. sandy hutchins is an amazing well-respected writer, who is also a mentor to me. a professor on sabattical,

2002-10-27T11:12:00.000-08:00

pillows like oranges sunday evening. beth orton and me in an otherwise empty house. it's been a quiet day. my past few days have found me immersed in alice walker, as i have voraciously read two of her novels in between mandatory medieval irish literature. i'm not sure why i have been so drawn to alice (if i may call her alice) lately; maybe it has something to do with gladness' recent

2002-10-23T16:44:00.000-07:00

the dogs of my neighborhood we've got so many dogs around here. some of them on leads, most of them free. there is a big, fuzzy blackish one that wanders up and down connsbrook ave; sometimes he sprawls out on the pavement in front of his house, other times he hangs out at the chip shop or the co-op with his beagle-ish friend. i greet him with hands in pockets usually--i'm always the girl who

2002-10-21T09:31:00.000-07:00

here i am. hello friends. please excuse my absence; i've been away! josh and sandy (nashville roommates extraordinaire) came to visit our grey town late last week, and i have spent my days exploring with them, as well as with jenna and trevor. on saturday, we all drove up the coast to castle rock [read: five full-size people in nissan micra, which does not get its name arbitrarily], and spent

2002-10-17T05:45:00.000-07:00

shut de do the children of east belfast are quite the halloween entrepreneurs, i'm quickly learning. last saturday, i got a knock at the door around 8 pm, and opened it only to look down upon a 4 foot satan-masked genius, with plastic clawed hands hoping for a handout. a muffled, demonic child's voice said from behind the evil face (in a cute irish brogue): "halloween is coming in two weeks.

2002-10-16T02:28:00.000-07:00

i think this makes me a tennessean hurray for nashville bloggers. we're famous! read HERE for a lovely article on the nashville blogging scene. (who knew there was such a thing?) for those of you who are visiting this humble blog for the first time: welcome! i hope you stay awhile. can i make you a cup of tea? (i've gotten quite good at that recently.) and the same invitation goes to you

2002-10-15T07:31:00.000-07:00

glory in the grey. well, for the two of you who have asked for me to post iona thoughts once the words come: here you are. i have decided to take the lazy man's route, and post journal excerpts from the week. i really hope you enjoy them. iona truly is a thin place. october 6 My fingers smell like potatoes and there are sheep grazing in the football field. And such is Iona: unconventional

2002-10-12T04:09:00.000-07:00

sun and coffee [attention: read the october 8 entry at [jp/p]'s BLOG. do this right away.] good morning from belfast. i arrived home at midnight,waterlogged, after a rainy day of travel. i feel a lot like sarah harmer in her song, 'uniform grey': it's perfectly suited/this uniform grey/there are no bearings to the day/ i came down from the air/ and i'll leave by boat... (she forgot about

2002-10-08T03:24:00.000-07:00

tuesday on iona have you seen the shipping news? i feel like a member of the cast right now, layered in sweater and jacket and raincoat. and i'm sitting in a shed at the post office--the only place on the island with internet access--checking in. this is just a brief hello. and there are so many words i wish i had the time to say right now. everything in its time, right? for now, i will

2002-10-02T10:09:00.000-07:00

iona it has rained all day today, and it's been windy. i ran into susan as i was walking home from the library--drenched in all the places my raincoat didn't cover--and she laughed at my bedraggled self. "welcome to fall in belfast," she said. "the trees don't change colors and there's no sunshine here; it's all grey and rain!" and then she drove off, dry in her car. and i went home and made

2002-09-30T09:16:00.000-07:00

sunshine and spiderman afternoon and beck. Sunshine and stella artois. I've spent this glorious afternoon outside, walking. Errands to tesco, picking up tonight's dinner and a bottle of wine. Biscuits too. Then, a trip to the library. And home for a bit, where I read of the demise of ernest hemingway's son, gregory in the observer. After a nice wheaten toast and cheese lunch, I decided I

2002-09-29T04:56:00.000-07:00

post-church beck it's been a real weekend. last week this time, i was in bed with a box of kleenex and books i was too tired to read, and this week i am wearing lipstick and my hair is brushed. thank God for healing. thank God for weekends with friends. yesterday, jenna, trevor and i drove up to castle rock--my favorite spot from the trip in may. the day was sweater-cool, and i sat on the

2002-09-27T10:35:00.000-07:00

bright grey not much to report from here today. it's a brighter grey than yesterday, and no rain. and we'll go hear good music tonight: lucy kaplansky and susan. so. i think i'll take a nap. the end for now...

2002-09-26T03:35:00.000-07:00

dad and trains. it's nearly midnight. by the time i go to bed, it will be september 26 here. for the rest of my family, there is a bit more breath-holding. they've got six more hours of wait until what may be release, a permission to bring out the sackcloth again. maybe we'll cry and look at pictures. maybe we'll relive the blue skies of the day, five years ago, that we became fatherless

2002-09-24T01:27:00.000-07:00

awake it's around nine am. i've been awake for about an hour. this must mean that i am feeling better. i am breathing through both nostrils simultaneously, and i have woken up not cursing the sunshine or the fact that it is one pm and i've missed half the day. this is good news. yesterday was a good day of shopping at city centre with james. and i was able to purchase a handy little power

2002-09-23T04:46:00.000-07:00

sunshine and good wine, er whiskey well, it is sunny day number three in belfast, which is quite healing to a girl with an annoying cold. the endless cups of lemsip and hot totties and various lozenges have all proven helpful, though, as i really think i'm on the mend. (and an extra special thanks goes to marlei for her all-healing yellow, cozy blanket.) if i ever get offline (i am basking in

2002-09-22T12:16:00.000-07:00

i'm sick i'm writing between coughs, and it's really quite humorous. thank james stewart for his kind heart, as he is sharing his modem and ibook with me right now. we all love james stewart, webmaster extraordinaire... and now off to dinner. xo

2002-09-20T10:39:00.000-07:00

home and dry. here i am. sorry for any hijacking fears i inadvertantly caused for some of you, but the truth is that i am having internet connection issues (computer-booting issues at that) at that new house. so. i've been offline (and believe me, it's been painful) for over two days now, and after developing the shakes and trying to get an internet connection from the television, bedroom

2002-09-16T04:50:00.000-07:00

understanding has anyone ever said these words to you: i understand completely? rare, powerful words. takes a lot of trust to believe them, honestly. but. i believe you. erie is rain, three days in a row. mom finally roused me from the peach-room bed with a cup of bitter coffee (in the crate and barrel glass mugs eileen gave her) and i'm sinus girl, about to drive to nyc, about to drive to

2002-09-14T22:37:00.000-07:00

peach it's late and breezy in this very peach room. the windows are opened wide, and i'm listening to the oddly familiar night sounds filling my childhood bedroom. time out of time here. now. if i close my eyes tight enough, i can almost make myself believe that my father will be waking up in a few short hours, shaving in the bathroom, just like the eighteen years of perpetual 5:30 am buzzzzz

2002-09-13T13:49:00.000-07:00

if you make it fun, it's fun the above is one of the many proverbs of the obvious that my sister, peggy and i enjoy coming up with. others? it is always good to buy a snickers bar. yeah. this is what i do in erie, pa. actually, i have had a full day of play. bobby and i threw sticks and stones and pinecones from a lakefront cliff this morning, after eating peanut butter sandwiches on the

2002-09-12T04:57:00.000-07:00

chickens leaving nashville in a bit. room is a mess. did i forget something? nah, i'm bringing all of you with me. and i'm so tired. note to self: no more denny's coffee at midnight. (though staying awake with sco was tops.) my next few days: today: erie, pa monday: nyc and vicky. tuesday: jersey wednesday: belfast and i'm taking you with me. all of you. wait, i said that already. see?

2002-09-11T07:15:00.000-07:00

ahoy. "this is my first night as an unemployed girl," i said to my friends yesterday. congratulations! they replied, toasting. yesterday was lasts and firsts. today is lasts and firsts once again, and we're all breathing that way i think. we can all stop planning what we're going to do to commemorate terrorists and trade towers and fear and heroism, pentagons and endless tickertape. we can

2002-09-09T07:37:00.000-07:00

wholly i spent the morning with the orange-rising sun on my back and goosepimples on my arms, as i sat outside with tea and anne bradstreet. she entrusted her tears to God's bottle. i typically bottle my own, sell them like books to whoever will buy. you cannot expect authentic prayer to just enhance your life as it is, a merton-inspired sparrow said yesterday, and i'm gulping. i think about

2002-09-07T23:07:00.000-07:00

everything is in its right place for perhaps the first time ever in my life, i have experienced something like social butterfly-ness today. (i think this has something to do with my leaving the country.) a quick run-through of my incredibly full, wonderful day: 9:00 am: breakfast at provence with kristina. cafe au lait, chocolate croissant, and conversation. 11:00 am: horseback riding with

2002-09-05T12:49:00.000-07:00

i love julie lee (but we're just friends.) julie lee is one of my favorite people in the whole world, and her music is so good. her voice, her songwriting--she is a balm. (really.) and now, julie has her own website. so go look: click me, please

2002-09-04T07:28:00.000-07:00

birthdays and balance. HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my dearest friends jenna and shannon today. and. latest finding balance article can be found HERE (note: have you told all your friends about finding balance yet? shame on you! go on, now...) pee ess: check out katy raymond's article on addicts and balance as well. good stuff.

2002-09-03T21:40:00.000-07:00

home. i just got home from mccreary's pub in franklin. another goodbye. this tiny pub has become the hub of goodbyes during the past week or so. and driving home tonight, i thought once again, i feel very much at home here. it's strange to think and feel such thoughts when on the cusp of goodbyes for awhile. for awhile. with all this transition, i am definitely grasping a deeper sense of

2002-08-31T22:12:00.000-07:00

here i am atlanta. 18th floor. downtown. windows are open and the presence of muffled night noises are in the room. it's a beautiful sound. i hear jazz. what a lovely day of serendipitous findings. we're like rosie thomas: no destination but plenty of vision in mind. more later. guitar beckons.

2002-08-30T20:28:00.000-07:00

nothing else compares i am a domestic goddess today. (really.) father-like men everywhere (ie my cousin, tom) will rejoice at my list of accomplishments: two new tires, one new headlight, topped-off fluids, and lots of pennzoil. and to think that one can accomplish all of these objectives at super walmart. one question: would you buy produce from the same company you can purchase intimate

2002-08-27T11:07:00.000-07:00

i obviously live in nashville tower records is open until midnight. and, on the nights before street date, you can join the thronging masses at 11:45 to pick up the next day's releases. and we all know that coldplay is out today. and. well, as i lay in bed last night, i thought about the recklessness of sneaking out into the dark, dark night, speeding along the abandoned highway (no more

2002-08-24T08:09:00.000-07:00

home alone the roommates have gone away for the weekend, leaving me with blackberry jam and toast and tea. so, i'm sitting here on this glorious, lazy saturday morning, in the lazy boy with the keyboard on my lap. toast crust sits next to tea bag, and coldplay is streaming from vh1.com. how long must you wait for it? chris martin sings, and i can answer the question: three more days. august

2002-08-22T20:54:00.000-07:00

synapses this week has been heavy on my shoulders. and maybe it's because i am a girl and i shoulder too much. or maybe it's these synapses and seratonin and bad connections: chemical imbalances blah blah blah. but. it still gets heavy. and i still shoulder it. and then i start staring off into space too long and laundry piles up. i get stuck. sparrow asked today, as i talked to her with

2002-08-22T08:32:00.000-07:00

boys, diaries, and david perry my friend dave just started his very own blog...very much worth your time. see for yourself HERE.

2002-08-19T22:51:00.000-07:00

note to self so. yesterday. i was going to write about the oddness of my sunday, my sabbath. i purposely left my cell phone and watch at home as i left for church. i was so tired of being under their thumb. i.e. thy kingdom come, thy will be done and me: i wonder who just called? is it noon yet? for thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory. forever and ever. amen. i got to church late,

2002-08-16T11:23:00.000-07:00

everything is grey. today is not a cubicle day. at all. i knew it when i first woke up, as i lay under blankets with muffled thunder in the background. i could smell sandy's coffee wafting from downstairs. she had probably left for work already. my alarm annoyed me more than usual. beep beep beep be-snooze. nine more minutes of dreaming. *i'm in california. is nichole there in this dream

2002-08-15T13:58:00.000-07:00

the indescribable wow. thanks, sco, for giving me the link to heather snow's blog. these, friends, are words worth reading, digesting. they're quite real. (many thanks, heather.)

2002-08-15T09:19:00.000-07:00

horizons: expanded guess what i did? i wrote a review of blackalicious for relevant. annie, the hip-hop reviewer? apparently so these days. you can read it HERE.

2002-08-14T21:59:00.000-07:00

can't escape it. so. as my previous blog-entry suggested, i've been spending my lunch hours outdoors lately. i have just over three weeks left at a job i have spent the (thus far) whole of my twenties in. four years may be a drop in the bucket, but when held against the 24 of which i've been alive, the time, energy, and hope i've sown into this place are quite substantial, i think. and so,

2002-08-12T11:41:00.000-07:00

brentwood. from my afternoon journal: nothing is natural here. it is my lunch hour. as i left the parking lot a few minutes ago, i watched the overweight women--with their curly perms and matching black dresses and white, white walking shoes--walk in rhythm, like they do every day. blacktop to blacktop. they walk. experiencing a bit of outdoors. i wonder if they lose their bearings ever,

2002-08-11T19:56:00.000-07:00

today was the greatest sometimes, for friendship, you drive. and sometimes, for connection, you hydroplane through kentucky storms. and the distance and the risk are worth it: you're awake, and bright eyes across the table affirm this, over tea and sprite. and in this shared, hoped-for, frightening awakeness, she is teaching me the weight of this question: what do you need? friends: what do

2002-08-10T09:24:00.000-07:00

pottery, bob ross, and trolls i am in desperate need for some levity here, and i think you, faithful readers, are as well. so, here is what i dreamed last night: first, the preface: last saturday, my friend, dana and i painted pottery. i was feeling all artsy for a change, and decided to create my own little drawing on a tile. i worked for two hours on this sucker, layering colors and

2002-08-09T12:34:00.000-07:00

we cry mercy nothing breaks my heart more than violence against the children. i cry here in my cubicle about a broken child pornography ring. what else can we do but cry and cry mercy? and what do we do with the evil? how the hell is it ever overcome? where is this kingdom come on earth as it is in heaven? the more i demand answers, the more they never come. and so i pray. that's all i can do.

2002-08-08T21:17:00.000-07:00

no one here but us chickens sometimes--all the time--i wonder, how did i get here? how did i ever find myself in the midst of community like i have now? sometimes, i sit back and laugh. or cry. or scratch my head. tonight i smiled. julie and i had dinner at la paz. times are good for her: she is getting to be a songwriter! inspiration is present and overflowing, and i brought buckets. what

2002-08-08T11:49:00.000-07:00

things unseen the days have been cooler. i spent my lunch hour outside with etty and a pepperoni pizza lean pocket (scalded tongue). etty's words feel different outside. they feel all the more alive, maybe. and i keep forgetting that i can't meet her for coffee after work; that she's been dead for 60 years. because she chronicles the stuff of life, and that stuff does not change. it is

2002-08-06T23:40:00.000-07:00

in my place nothing was ordinary today. my typical tuesday morning meeting found me telling my coworkers that i will soon be leaving...going to this ireland place, and. well. not selling the next big thing in ccm anymore. and then i found myself participating in an adopt-a-mile adventure at work, with garbage bags and gloves, picking up passerby trash on a busy street. and then a sparrow

2002-08-05T20:16:00.000-07:00

all things new it feels so good to give up, so good to be good to myself... rosie thomas sings like a road-trip anthem. and her words are mine. because. well. what has been quiet is now to be proclaimed from my own little rooftop (or blog): annie is going to ireland. family has been told. tickets are bought. notice is given at work. online classes are planned. ramen noodles and tuna have

2002-08-03T21:50:00.000-07:00

re: august second friends surpass the call of duty sometimes. as i spent my day celebrating and grieving the birthday of my father, in quiet conversation with karen on a monteagle park bench, nichole was in dallas, singing happy birthday to my daddy whom she has never met. and then helen called last night from los angeles, leaving a voicemail: i need to know your father's first name, she said,

2002-08-01T21:54:00.000-07:00

mountains. eagles. if one is desperate to mount up with wings like eagles, i'd assume that a good place to go would be monteagle, tn. so. that is where i am going tomorrow. i have the visions and i've dreamed the dreams, and now i pray for deliverance from weariness. karen is giving a lecture tomorrow about her experiences on the island of iona. i'm going to join her. from there, we will

2002-07-31T05:16:00.000-07:00

sparrow's etty i've been reading the words of etty hillesum, slowly, since dear anne sent her to me. i'm having to read her one sentence at time, as there are none to be taken for granted. last night's life-changing words: "sometimes i long for a convent cell, with the sublime wisdom of centuries set out on bookshelves all along the wall and a view across the cornfields--there must be

2002-07-28T20:12:00.000-07:00

somehow all that matters now september 24 will be a good day. nichole nordeman's new cd will be available for the whole world to hear and it will be good. in the meantime, access to pre-releases is a definite perk to how i make my living. so, nichole's words have been my words this weekend; they have been a preface to all things hopeful. and, this morning, when becca preached on mustard seeds

2002-07-26T12:24:00.000-07:00

this mystery what compels candy companies to introduce "mystery flavors" into the world of fruity goodness already available? it's like throwing off an ecosystem. the good makers of starbursts have confused me with the question mark of the new, white, mango-ish flavor. and now, skittles--SKITTLES--have this same, white weirdness, and i'm near angry about it. what does it say about me that

2002-07-26T08:30:00.000-07:00

poetry. i've nearly abandoned poetry lately. i have not felt the rhythm of it; my life has felt too awkward, and i've been tripping over words, simply happy to get them down at all. i found some poetry of mine that i wrote a few years ago, when i heard the drums of something like rhythm, and wrote accordingly. i've dusted the words off for you, and thought i'd bring them to light for a little

2002-07-25T11:08:00.000-07:00

eyes and stars. today is a different kind of day. if i followed the mayan calendar, today would be the day out of time. but. i don't. so it is simply july 25: first day of no more summer classes. also, today is july 25: day that vicky comes to visit. to quote my friend sherry: it's a good day, a very good day. but, my head is buzzing with the busyness of thought. too much thought. or maybe

2002-07-23T14:41:00.000-07:00

all about eileen so you know, i love my sister eileen quite a lot. you too can love her (and her dreamy husband, rodger) by clicking right HERE.

2002-07-22T19:55:00.000-07:00

have-to's no more of these have-to's. all i want to do is sit with the perfect cup of tea and you, over conversation. california? ireland? boston? pennsylvania? yes. (maybe i've tasted too much.)

2002-07-21T19:25:00.000-07:00

sirens. my friend kristina has a beautiful website of her PHOTOS. go, friends. go!

2002-07-19T22:28:00.000-07:00

pick me up and turn me 'round i have just returned home from california. i'm lying on my bed; my legs are still a pinkish hue, and i'm tired. i am thinking about last saturday at laguna beach (the sunburn culprit) and climbing rocks at lowtide, barefoot, with marlei. we sat and watched the waves crash and form tiny tide pools, and we decided that the reason we love the ocean so much is because

2002-07-17T01:20:00.000-07:00

supply and demand. hello, friends. it's 1:12 am, pacific standard time, and i have to get up at 6-ish for another day of cba. (i'm tired.) tonight was a night of my first 5-course meal experience, as i dined in LA with my friends, marlei and helen. helen's husband happens to be the chef at a hotel with prominently displayed marble everything, and words fall short in describing the culinary

2002-07-11T17:43:00.000-07:00

the buses are leaving. it's that feeling like you just missed the field trip. i'm looking out my hotel window, and there go the buses: one to the dodgers vs. diamondbacks baseball game, the other to "the block": an anaheim place to go shopping. i didn't go. they're turning the corner now and i'm in my hotel room. alone. it's been a long day of music and marketing, mexican food and hawaiian

2002-07-09T21:11:00.000-07:00

californication and me: a business trip well, there's no telling what kind of blog time i'll get over yonder, there. the plane takes off tomorrow and i am not my own for the next nine days. first: sales conference second: cba convention. if you're not familiar with the world of ccm, then you have no idea what kind of long days i have ahead of me. oy. i'm hoping to get some sneaking out time

2002-07-08T15:04:00.000-07:00

at 5:01 pm, i realised... the words, like provision, always come. keeping pen at hand. you've got to be ready for the rabbit trails...

2002-07-06T22:35:00.000-07:00

remember? do you remember those nights that spring, i asked, when we walked the gravel roads in sandals on clear moon nights, having to stop every few feet to remove stones from toes? and we stared straight up at sky as we walked, arm in arm, until our necks hurt? and then we lay down, not caring about the oil stains on our backs, to get a better view? we were consciously making the memories

2002-07-06T12:10:00.000-07:00

newsflash!! susan enan is opening for tony bennett on july 7 in liverpool!!! yayayayay susan!! i'm so proud! ***end of newflash***

2002-07-06T07:02:00.000-07:00

yikes. ok. with sitemeter, it's quite easy to see where my site traffic is coming from, how long someone stays, what pages he/she looks at, et cetera. i can also tell how someone finds my blog based on another referring site. (btw, katy and sparrow: your sites have referred the most this week...) usually, folks find my blog based on someone else's link or from a link i've left while leaving a

2002-07-05T21:49:00.000-07:00

chattanooga and books. [note: jenna, this blog entry goes out to you, chicken. your city says hello.] rachel had a great idea the other day. let's go to chattanooga for the day, she said. we can peruse used bookstores and write if we want. rachel has good ideas. we went to chattanooga today. it's not so long a drive to chattanooga (as jenna could tell you). the sky was hot and the walls of

2002-07-02T21:32:00.000-07:00

needles poking in eyes. God bless monday, when i will never have to think of physics again. the cosmic lesson in my daily, 4 week-long, 7:30 am physics class (of which i missed one week): perfectionism is bad. for a girl who has not seen a C since her sophomore year of highschool, high hope for a C this time is incredibly humbling. to the final in the morning... ugh.

2002-07-02T14:57:00.000-07:00

pee ess i found a penny in the hallway, by the elevators, on my way down to the breakroom to scavenge some animal crackers. and we had another storm. (my windows were rolled up.)

2002-07-02T11:06:00.000-07:00

your local forecast on the eights. today, the heat feels like cellophane. and then i come inside the obnoxiously air-conditioned building, and have to put on my jacket: summer in nashville. anyway. a well of good thoughts and poignant words has been accumulating in that dry soul i wrote about the other day. (strange how that happens, isn't it?) karen sent me a taize meditation this morning,

2002-06-29T23:08:00.000-07:00

capsized. today has been a day gone by too quickly. i cleaned my room and read some small wonder and listened to good music and ate lunch with constance and rode my horse and visited with friends, dana and myke. and i bought a bulletin board. i hung it over madeleine l'engle's framed words: sometimes mercy and reconciliation can come to us through story. some pictures hang loosely now. and i

2002-06-29T07:15:00.000-07:00

i am awake. josh and sandy are having a garage sale today. i am not participating. while dreaming weird saturday morning dreams, i was woken up by josh outside my room. josh: (loud) annnne? me: (groggily, still dreaming) yes? josh: there's a lady outside who wants to buy a couch. wanna sell yours? me: (groggily, still dreaming) ok. josh: ok. how much you wanna sell it for? me: (ready to make

2002-06-28T10:57:00.000-07:00

blackalicious and bean trees, nearly i'm eclectic girl today, who really has no business spending money, but couldn't resist on this not-too-balmy friday. i'm rushing to blog as i'm finishing my lunch hour and need to do my proverbial fifteen minutes of actual work. so. lunch hour. friday. i went to my friendly neighborhood borders. and i bought blackalicious. and i bought barbara

2002-06-27T15:52:00.000-07:00

fullmind. i'm studying buddhism again in school. i studied it in high school, with MoRo, who is still an integral part of my life. i studied buddhism in much the same context as i am now: a comparative study of world religions. but, what i missed when i was 17 i got last night. i heard mindfulness: everything is liturgy. nothing is exempt. brush your teeth, girl. and it is holy and good. keep

2002-06-24T09:47:00.000-07:00

wishbest. i drove back to nashville last night, with anne lamott's word by word lecture tape to make me laugh and muse, and phonecalls from jenna and vicky to last nearly 100 miles each through ohio and kentucky, respectively. (and then there were the peanut butter m&ms...) well. here i am, admittedly floundering a bit under the weight of make-up work, in the realms of school and work. i'll

2002-06-21T20:57:00.000-07:00

here. well. it's friday night in erie, pa. this week has found me submerged in something like my life, but without the daily fidelities to feel like foundation. no school. no work. no vacation. just this. i've swung between sad and numb and feeling guilty for once again being the girl with extenuating circumstances. however. this is where my whole world is right now, and although i didn't

2002-06-19T08:10:00.000-07:00

pennsylvania i'm about to hit the road, taking the 65N to 71N to 271N to 90E route to erie, pa. it's a long drive. however, i've got plenty of cds and even a mini-cassette player, should i have any fantastic inspirations for the great american novel. (i'll let you know how that goes.) aunt mary helen and i (and maybe even my mom!) are going to celebrate uncle jack together. we'll seek out

2002-06-17T21:05:00.000-07:00

uncle jack. from my journal: Tuesday, March 20, 2001 Well. I was wordless in florida. And the second I left I found myself feeling the oldest and youngest I have ever been in my life. And I’m not sure if I will ever get my words around the myriad emotions, visions, joys and sorrows I experienced this weekend, but. But. It was good. Uncle Jack is a beautiful old man now with boundless energy

2002-06-17T08:15:00.000-07:00

she said, "ow, that really hurts." and she wasn't just complaining. ow. still really sore from the four-hour, intense riding experience on a horse that is not my own on saturday. we're talking painkillers-and-stay-in-bed sore. i have bruises in weird places, and it's hard to write just yet. ...check back later, please.

2002-06-14T22:51:00.000-07:00

all things ya ya. well. i just returned from a night of celebration with constance, as she has just finished her book. (i'm so proud.) we had a lovely dinner (albeit at the bar) at pf chang's, and then we whisked ourselves across the street to the movie theater and watched the divine secrets of the ya ya sisterhood. yes, i really saw it. and. yes, i liked it. ...this is incredibly difficult

2002-06-14T22:28:00.000-07:00

all things ya ya. well. i just returned from a night of celebration with constance

2002-06-11T20:22:00.000-07:00

bursting through A sense of the presence of the Great Unnamable may burst through the seeming ordinariness of life, Samuel Palmer says. And I really can't get past it, mostly because I'm desperate for the bursting. It's night as I write this, and I'm dog-sitting. It's a quiet screened-in porch kind of night, with Damien Rice singing, "why'd you sing alleluia if it means nothing to ya?" The

2002-06-10T19:31:00.000-07:00

to go or not to go. so. here is the short version of my daily thoughts as of late: should i go to ireland? yes, yes, i was just there (i remember), but i have the chance to go again and for awhile. to write. to be. to live. and, of course i want to go; there are so many fantastic friends there who i love very much... so go, right? but. of course, such good things are contingent on a lot of

2002-06-10T09:17:00.000-07:00

jayne is in brunei. if you like good writing about important things to know, then--by all means--visit jayne's blog today. (right now, even.) her experience so beats the rainforest cafe. cheers.

2002-06-06T20:33:00.000-07:00

happy birthday, mh. aunt mary helen is 85 today. she is my dad's big sister, and one of my dearest friends. she is my history. she remembers. i've always known her as garrulous and full of mccarthy-style stories. grandmothers. grandfathers. cousins and friends. all are carefully chronicled in her head. dad was the same, and offered all stories to anyone who would listen. i never listened.

2002-06-05T20:40:00.000-07:00

my friend susan OR the physics of tuesday. i'm listening to my friend, susan, sing on the cd-r she made me: bring on the wonder/bring on the song/i pushed you down deep in my soul for too long. she makes me miss ireland. she makes me remember wonder. (we often confuse amusement with wonder, i've been told. the former is cheap and the latter, real) so. last night we had these fantastic

2002-06-03T20:19:00.000-07:00

what we got. morning class was cancelled. evening class dismissed after 10 minutes of syllabus review. i had unexpected free hours in my very hot and humid day. i spent both at bongo java, quietly. my morning hour and my night hour were both wonderful. this morning, i caught up on my nashville independent film festival details, and this evening i spent writing my june installment of 'anne's

2002-06-03T15:23:00.000-07:00

photos. photos. HERE are some of the pics from the england/ireland trip, taken by curtis' digital camera. they're fantastic. xo

2002-06-02T20:45:00.000-07:00

touchstones. today has been one of those lonely sorts of days (aside from being so friggin hot) where i've been in my car a lot, distracted. sad. hot. but i've touched fingertips with people, which is nice. at 23 years old, i pulled my first grey hair this morning, while cat-sitting for a friend in green hills. also pulled a tick off my face. i don't know where that came from, but i'll bet it

2002-06-02T14:43:00.000-07:00

yaccs, et cetera. so. you can leave comments again, if you are so inclined. (please be so inclined. your comments validate my existence.) a big, fat thank yew to the bracketed and slashed one for being online at the precise moment which one can sign up to use yaccs comments. you see, they only take 100 new users a day, starting at midnight, and since i have not recently been online at precisely

2002-05-30T18:03:00.000-07:00

things. sometimes i get so tired that i can't word anything right on my own. some things you want may just never be right patty griffin tells me. today is hard. <==that one is mine. the remnants of jetlag are a heavy blanket on decisions and dilemmas, hearts and souls. circumstances. (darlin, i wish you well.) how are we to live, grace paley's dying friend asked. like this, today. is that

2002-05-30T15:51:00.000-07:00

this much. my nephew, bob (yes, the vacuum-obsessed one), became a four-year-old yesterday. man, i remember well the day he came around and made summer really happen for all of us newly-dadless sisters. our father bob died. a new bob came around. the sky heard many thank yews. bob and i talked on the phone yesterday. to keep a four-year-old talking, you have to keep asking questions. have